It’s Friday, Time For Some More Secrecy!

PUBLISHED by catsmob.comWhile trolling for filth on the internet, as I’m wont to do, I found the photo above and chuckled. It feels about right… And I like that one of the XL shelves has been knocked askew, presumably by a mob of stout ‘n’ sturdy ladies whipped into a frenzy by the promise of a $4.66 swimsuit.

I thought it would be perfect for the Facebook page, and began the process of sharing. Then I stopped. Something occurred to me, and I slammed on the brakes. No way I’m posting that photo at Facebook. No freaking way. And I’m wondering if you guys can figure out the reason why.

Tonight, when I get home from work, I’ll add a short paragraph to this update, explaining my thoughts on the matter. And in the meantime… please see if you can figure it out. Post your guesses in the comments.

Not sure if anyone noticed, but I didn’t publish a Wednesday Name Game this week. I had one written and ready to go (Karen), but thought to myself… “Nobody gives a crap about this.” So, I deleted it.

I think I’m going to shitcan the idea. Unless you guys can convince me otherwise. Is it worth saving? Or should we just let it go? It started out strong, and has withered down to a quivering husk of sadness. But maybe there’s some way to improve it?

If you have any thoughts on the Name Game, please share ‘em. If not, it’ll be laid to rest in the huge, sprawling Cemetery of Bad Ideas (Jeff Kay annex).

Speaking of trolling for filth… A co-worker sent me this link a couple of days ago, and it’s a thing of beauty. There are many great quotes, but this is one of my favorites:

The competition, she says, is about body positivity. “If anyone makes fun of the contestants or thinks this is some sort of shaming fest, we kick them out,” she says firmly. “It’s a celebration of guys with tiny penises.” 

Be sure to read the whole thing, because there’s a genuine WTF? moment following this quote:

“It was a good event up until now!” one woman yells. 

A true classic.

And I need to call it a week, my friends. It’s like October up here, which I love. But I need to go work, which I don’t love. Oh well.

I’ll see you guys on Monday.

Have a great weekend!

As promised, the reason I decided not to post the above photo on Facebook: because people would look at all those XLs missing from the bathing suit display, and reflexively comment “‘Murica.” And God, how I hate that.


  1. I did miss the name game. Have you ever known anyone named Jeff?

  2. Swami Bologna says

    I like the Name Game posts, because they provide some humorous and/or interesting anecdotes about people in Jeff’s past. I don’t really care much about whether we “followers” have anything interesting to add in the Name Game, which is understandable, ’cause we’re not humorous writers of interesting real-life anecdotes (if we were, we’d have our own blogs).

  3. Let the name game posting go, you’ll come up with something better.

  4. Steve in WV says

    This week’s super secret update link ended up in my SPAM folder. Not sure why. All the others went to my Inbox. Yahoo. Whaddaya gonna do?

  5. been staring at the photo, can’t figure it out.

    • Lucie in Tampa says

      I feel lost… I assumed Jeff wouln’t want the wrath of BBW’s going off on him, thus deleting more than half of the new site (lol)

  6. Jeff, I think it would have been hilarious if you posted the above picture on Facebook under the heading “Jeff Kay is going to an EVENT” . But perhaps you didn’t wish to post it for fear that people would think you’re a cross dresser. Who wears a lot of Size XL (which are mostly gone).

    The Name Game – Hmmmm maybe narrow it down to something like “The Best and Worst (insert name) You ever knew” And if you did post that about Karen – Best Karen – woman I worked for a couple of years ago who was just outright wonderful in so many ways. Worst Karen – whacked out co-worker who used to send flowers to herself after another of her numerous crying jags. We called her “Cry Baby, CRY” after “A Chrstmas Story”

  7. Oh Man! This would have tied in beautifully to yesterday’s post:

  8. Well, I did have the thought that all of a sudden you realized that your wife had gone shopping, and it dawned on you that she had charged all of those swimsuits.
    Wait, no…on second thought, I think you decided to not post this pic because it’s racist.
    Swimsuits are racist. Everything online is racist, doncha know?

  9. Stop it with the ‘October’ weather stuff! We’re cooking down here in Texas!

  10. I’m not a big fan of the name game but I loved rejected scripts. That would be a great replacement and the follow ups were excellent too. I’m looking forward to why that picture isn’t Facebook worthy. A picture is worth a thousand words in this case, unless that’s the reason…..

    • Fully agree on your name game/rejected script comment!

      • You know what else was fun? When Jeff “reported” from a fast food place.

        Jeff, whip into a skanky Burger King and tell us what you observe. Not a fancy pants Panera Bread.

  11. johnthebasket says

    Jeff . . .

    I think the Name Game is a tepid idea and you’re not a tepid writer. I understand that if you’re going to update on Wednesdays, you need a quick and easy formula. That makes sense to me. I just think your fertile mind can come up with a theme more inventive than the Name Game. Even a caption contest would be an upgrade. I’d trust your instincts on this one.


    • johnthebasket says

      Not fair to complain without offering a concrete suggestion. How about Music Wednesdays? Just pick a topic and ask the correspondents to respond with their favorite song (and why) on the topic.

      Or a music debate: Resolved: Leonard Cohen is a dick. For and against can accuse each other of being music snobs and having tin ears. Perhaps a mediocre idea, but in my opinion, it beats fan friction. Just an opinion.


  12. MikefromLI says

    The problem with the name games were the names. Try less Karen and Jim and more Omar, Chandrakant or D’Qwells.

  13. Posting that picture on Facebook exposes you to the fury of the full-figured?

  14. What about…”Whatever Wednesdays”? Sometimes a name game, sometimes a caption, (thank you jtb), sometimes a “I nave no fucking idea what to write today”. Maybe…”Have you ever considered punching out an old lady”. and leave it at that. Everyone around here enjoys reading your writing and tales and then you usually add the tag about, “turning it over to you guys” so the folks here can add their eight cents worth… (2 cents worth adjusted for inflation). “The Wednesday Name Game?..maybe not all the time. Now and then…yep. Mix it up on Wednesday if you want. No need to saddle yourself with a theme and have to come up with something you’re locked into. Creativity is best with no restraints.

  15. Whatever-the-Hell Wednesday is a good idea.

    It could be especially helpful in the event you don’t actually feel like writing. You could just dump two or three paragraphs of of free form thought.

    This could back fire though, as a lack of quality in these writings may thin out the higher quality planned writings.

  16. I think you didn’t post it because someone would point out that the full figured pieces appear to have been mixed in with the smalls.

    It seems to me that the XXL should have been on the top. Let the skinny bitches bend and stoop to grab their suits… Otherwise you could be asking for an insurance claim.

  17. johnthebasket says

    I’m not entirely sure I’d be comfortable going swimming in a $4.66 swimsuit. Personally, I wear a one-piece, but still . . .


  18. johnthebasket says

    OK, this was actually Jeff. No salutation, but there was a nice “Have a great weekend” close. I’m just sayin’ . . .

  19. johnthebasket says
  20. Had to google ‘Murica’ from your little bro up north with no money or power to change anything.

  21. I think Jeff is just worried that people will think he’s been shopping at Walmart.

  22. johnthebasket says

    Welcome to Windows 8. This son of a bitch won’t update (I can’t see any recent comments) unless I make an additional comment. So I’m not trying to monopolize the comments . . . I’m just curious as to whether there have been additional updates. We’re born with what we have and then we die.


  23. Hahaha about the bit in the article about a man with a shitting in public fetish. Jesus Truckdriving Christ.

    As for the name game, I agree that it has lost its sizzle.

  24. johnthebasket says

    Sorry for the extra comment. Just checking for additional updates. If anybody knows how to get this page, which, unlike the Monday, Wednesday and Thursday updates, appears in the context of Windows 8 management, feel free to give me some advice.


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