Toney just gave me a homemade haircut. I prefer the store-bought variety, but these hand-rolled versions are getting better and better. The first time she did it, a couple of years ago, it felt like I had a Gumby head for the next three weeks. The shit was asymmetrical. But her skillz have improved, and these homespun cuts are now nearly identical to the ones I get from the husky-voiced divorcees at the local salons.
But as I was sitting there, allowing my wife to shear me like a sheep, some questions were going through my mind. And I’d like to ask them to you now. How’s that sound? Good, let’s go.
Where do you get your haircuts?
Do you go to a high-end salon, an old fashioned barber shop, a Fantastic Sam’s-style chain, or what? I tried to find a real barber shop several years ago, and it didn’t pan out. So, I just go to one of the various chains, or local versions of the same. What about you?
Are you loyal to a certain shop or person?
I’m not. I just go to the most convenient place. It’s not like the same people are going to be working there, anyway. And my cut isn’t exactly difficult to pull off (clippers… 2 and 4 guards), so it doesn’t matter. I bounce around from place to place, never staying put for long; I’m a haircut gigolo.
The most memorable name of a haircut place you’ve discovered?
When we lived in Atlanta we drove past the Doin’ It For the Lord Hair and Nail Salon, every morning on our way to work. I thought about getting my toenails done there, but didn’t want to be responsible for triggering a crisis of faith: “Awww, HELL no! Take me, Satan!!”
Most unusual setting for a haircut?
When we first moved here, I decided I wanted to find a traditional, old-fashioned barber. The first place I visited was a cigar store/barber shop. It was bizarre. The place wasn’t very big, and was jammed to the rafters with humidors and cases full of cigars. Oh yeah, and a big ol’ 1950s barber chair in the middle of the floor… As I got my cut, men were stepping around me and purchasing boxes of Romeo y Julieta, or whatever. I didn’t care for it. I felt like an asshole sitting up on a hydraulic lift in a retail setting.
Worst haircut you’ve ever received?
Mine was in that very same cigar store. There was an old man barber there, who was outside working on a motorcycle when I arrived. His wife (I’m guessing) yelled for him, and he came in — smelling like gasoline — and cranked up a set of World War II clippers that made a terrifying racket, and threw off sparks. I was certain there would be a loud WHOOSH!, and both of us would go up in flames. But thankfully there was no fire. The haircut, though? Horrible. I looked like a prisoner of war when I left there, or a cancer patient, or something. He was a nice old guy, but was cutting hair way past the expiration date.
Most disturbing haircut experience?
During that same period, when I was searching for a traditional barber, I went to a little old fashioned shop near our house. There was only one barber working, and he was… severe. I didn’t feel welcome, and there was a hint of actual hostility in the air. What the hell, man? Was this one of those situations where they didn’t take too kindly to “outsiders?” Our realtor had warned us about that kind of thing. When I finally got in the chair the dude softened a bit, and eventually began spewing a steady stream of racism. He was going on and on about Mexicans and blacks, and using words I hadn’t heard since the 1970s. He’d never seen me before in his life! Needless to say I just endured it (he had razors ‘n’ shit), and never returned.
What’s your stance on chit-chat?
I’m not really a fan, but feel compelled to put forth a minimal effort. I don’t want to be rude, but it’s always, “So, are you off from work today?” Or “Just out doing some shopping this afternoon?” Or something like that. I think they all have a laminated card in their pockets, with ten or twelve sure-fire chit-chat starters printed on it. I make a half-assed effort, so as not to seem like a serial killer. I guess you could say I chit, but rarely chat.
Finally, how much do you pay for a cut? And how much do you tip?
I used to tip five bucks, but have altered it a bit. Nowadays I hand over a $20 bill, and tell them to keep the change. So, if the cut is $12, they’re getting a really good tip. But if it’s $17… not so much. I’ve dug in my heels on the matter, and pay a straight twenty bucks. Is that wrong? What do you pay, and how much do you tip? Help me out, won’t you?
So there you go: the questions that were running through my head, as the clippers ran over it. Feel free to answer any or all of them in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys next time.
Have a great day!
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I need a haircut, desperately. Funny this was the theme of the update.
Cost Cutters at the mall. Same girl (Jenny) every time. They charge $16 and I tip $5.
The shampoo alone is worth it. She has these long fingernails and when she scratches and massages the scalp? I get all tingly in my naughty bits.
I go to an expensive salon because I’m still in grey hair denial and I need highlights and lowlights to stem the tide. I like my current guy because he doesn’t waste any time – gets me in and out in less than an hour for cut and color combined – and I hate being held captive in the salon chair forever while someone works on my hair in slow motion.
Memorable salon name: Jack the Snipper. Although I liked Jackie because she would sell me the color to do my own hair. I did a terrible job with it, but that wasn’t her fault.
I don’t mind chit-chat, although I’m starting to suspect that I say the same things every single time I go in there. My latest tactic is to just ask him questions instead.
Finally, tipping: I generally do 20%, but my salon uses Square and he has it set for 18% and 22%, so I go the sucker route and give him the 22% because he does a good job and, again, gets me in and out of there quickly.
I found a nice, real old-school barber shop just down the street from my house: nice guys, clean shop and a perfect cut every time. I don’t go anywhere else anymore.
I’m in Vegas and there used to be a place called Scissor’s Palace. They even used the same “Roman” font that Caesar’s Palace uses. Needless to say this attracted lawyerly attention and they had to change.
Worst haircut was at a Supercuts. It was wayyy too short. It was a bit of a mixed bag at that place.
The most disturbing was at a place I used to go to regularly. Barber had health issues and problems with his legs. One day I go in and he’s go bandages all over his legs. He puts me in the chair and says he has to do something and then proceeds to change the bandages. Seeing a guy’s bloody and pus covered bandages will put you right off you know? Never went back.
It’s a standard five dollar tip for me, so it’s $22 total where I go.
Not sure what your stance is on old country music, (although, as a loyal reader for years, I can venture a guess) but this Ray Stevens song came immediately to mind. Please give it a listen, I think you’ll find it very funny and very appropriate to this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGa9IvpooKI
I stick to the same cut-rate joint. Tried going to what appeared to be a “real” barbershop near my house and waited for nearly an hour while the prima donna patrons getting their “do” or whatever chatted on endlessly about their douche bag pencil-thin beards and such. Got up, went to my regular place and was outta’ there in less time than I wasted waiting. I’ll never go back to pimps-are-us, mainly because I was the only gringo in there.
I grew up going to a regular good ol’ fashioned barber shop in South Charleston. Seem to recall getting my ear cut there once.
When I was a teenager I started going to a hair stylist my brother recommended. I have no idea whether I got a decent haircut or not. I was just happy the stylist always had a hot girlfriend who did the hair washing, managing to rub her boobs on my face on occasion. Good times…
Where do you get your haircuts?
Fred’s. I used to go to Al’s, but part of his ceiling fell in once and he never fixed it. He kept working there, but didn’t give a shit that you could see the sky while getting a trim. Fred’s has a barber pole, so that’s nice. I almost went to Juan’s, because his shop is about 60 feet closer to my house than Fred’s. However, Juan’s didn’t open until eight the day I went to get a haircut. Instead of just waiting for 10 more minutes I went to Fred’s. Growing up I went to Rick’s. He’s three states away and retired now so that isn’t an option. I got free haircuts because I cut his grass. It was great.
—–
Are you loyal to a certain shop or person?
Yeah, I guess. The only reason I am loyal to the shop is that someday I hope to not have to explain what I think a “normal” hair cut is. Rick only did two haircuts, short and a little shorter. Every guy in the town had the same haircut because Rick was the only barber in town. You didn’t have to say anything, except “Cut my hair please.”Then Rick would give you a haircut. When I left that town I joined the Army. All you say there is “High and tight” and the Korean lady cuts your hair (It doesn’t matter where you are, it’s always a Korean lady). Now I have to explain that I want my hair short, but not the same length all around. I didn’t go to the International Educational Institute of Barbering and Bricklaying, so I’m not really down with the lingo. If I said I want a haircut with “ ¾ trim fade to a 1 1/5 top” I’d probably get kick the fuck out for calling his Fred’s son a queer without even knowing it.
—–
The most memorable name of a haircut place you’ve discovered?
Probably Juan’s, since it has a bit of ethnic flare to it.
If I ever open a hair chop shop I will name it “Razors ‘n’ Shit”. Jeff Kay will get no credit.
—–
Most unusual setting for a haircut?
I got a haircut in Bisbee once. That place is pretty unusual.
—–
Worst haircut you’ve ever received?
I went to my wife’s (then girlfriend) hairdresser once. It was the first and last time I ever had to make an appointment to get my hair cut. When this bitch who looked like she stuck her hair in a lawnmower with the blade on backwards walked up and said she would be my hair-dresser, I knew I was fucked. I think that may have been the day ol’ Rick had the series of mini-strokes.
—–
She started talking about accenting my hair line, and accentuating by brow, and framing my face and all kinds of other shit that sound more like a landscaping endeavor than a haircut. I told her, “Look I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t care about all that sort of thing. I just want my hair too look like it does now, just shorter.” She sort of scrunched her face up and buzzed my head to look like a Q-tip.
—–
Every hair on my head was about a quarter of an inch long and stood straight out like I was wearing a condom made of lighting.
—–
$75 bucks for the worst hair cut I’ve ever had and the opportunity to never have to go to another “hair dresser” in my life. Although I did have to go to a stylist once or twice.
—–
Most disturbing haircut experience?
Although you would think it would be the story above, it wasn’t. I grew my hair out long and coily (not curly) for about two years. It was great. I could cut it myself. I didn’t have to go to a barber every few weeks. It was cheap and pretty easy. When I finally went to a stylist to get it all cut off I was very upset that I would have to continue to maintain short hair again. If it didn’t start to look like I was trying to distract from the lack of hair on top of my head I would still have long hair. It’s so easy.
—–
What’s your stance on chit-chat?
Don’t care for it.
—–
Finally, how much do you pay for a cut? And how much do you tip?
Although my haircuts were free, Rick charged $5 a cut up until about 1998. Then he got with the times and raised the price to $7 a cut. So that is my standard. However, I’ve never paid that little anywhere else, ever. Now I guess $12 is the standard. That’s what I pay at Fred’s. My tipping strategy is that I round up to the nearest $5. If your hair cut cost $10, then you get an extra Abe in your pocket. If it is $14, you get one dollar. If your hair cut is $20 or more, I’ll wait until I find something cheaper.
I miss barber shops with Bazooka bubble gum and Playboy magazines.
I shave my head now, but for the 10 years before that, my wife, she is a stylist cut my hair.
Jeff, before she started doing that, I went to the barber shop with the racist barber. He used to talk that shit when I was in the chair, and I would just sit there waiting to get the hell out. The thing about him was that he had a horrible comb over. Some barber.
I never got a haircut at the cigar store, but I did by cigars there once.
buy
Hey, does anyone own a Flowbee?
Yes, but not for haircutting purposes.
jtb
I go to an old style place in Kanawha City called the Drive-In Barber Shop. Seriously. Lots of jokes about that place. “Uh, yeah, I just pull up to the place and stick my head out the drivers’ side window.” Some people actually believe that!
Best name–a place I saw in Logan County was called “Curl Up & Dye.” Probably for the ladies, but I always thought that was hilarious.
I do it on my back porch.
Wahl clippers, #3 shoe.
Costs absolutely nothing.
My husband goes to a good old fashioned barber. They make espresso with anisette or offer a sip of grappa or homemade wine. Beloved always brings smoked cheese or homemade sausage and they treat him like family.
Me? I’m currently going to a al who I’ve been with for almost 2 years. She owns the place with her mother but she’s clearly the better hairdresser. Her mother washes my hair sometimes and I can’t STAND it because she wraps the towel around her fingers then jams them in my ears to get rid of any excess water. DON’T SWAB THE INSDIE OF MY EARS. It gets me all gaggity. This girl is pretty good but the last 2 times it hasn’t been as good as usual. In fact, she went a little too short this time and I feel like I resemble Billy Jean King.
Worst haircut? Oh sweet Jesus. New Years Eve circa 1983. My hairdresser and I discussed how fantastic it would be if she styled my hair like Ciji from Knots Landing. Which is swell if you look like Lisa Hartman Black and not the aforementioned Billy Jean. It was probably the first ever mullet on a woman.
I used to go to Jimmy who actually once sliced the back of my neck. But he always cut hair beautifully and he was straight. He drank, though and got cirhossis of the liver so he checked himself out with a heroin overdose.
There is a shop in a little one horse town not far form me who apparently liked The Blues Brothers because they named their shop “Curl Up and Dye”.
Ha. The barber shop/cigar shop story is one of my all time faves.
I generally tip $3 bucks and I refuse to pay more than $15 for a cut. That pretty much limits me to Fantastic Sams or a few other discount places. I am a clipper cut and it take less than 10 minutes for my doo.
I got a haircut from WalMart’s shop once, and it was damn near $20 before the tip. WTH?
There’s one of those hipster joints in down town Charleston that expects you pay north of $40 for a cut. Bullshit. Not in a million years. I’ll go full-on Grizzly Adams before I pay that kind of coin for a barbering.
Last haircut I got was in 1980. Some girl I knew convinced me to let het trim 3″ off the ends. I wasn’t happy with the result, and never revisited the subject with anyone. I also have a full on beard that hasn’t been trimmed in years. That started growing out in 1977, right after my release from active duty. It does, however, stay pretty much the same length because the ends break off when I ride my motorcycle. Consider the amount of money I’ve saved on barber fees and razor blades over the years.
I prefer a “real” barbershop but for the life of me I can’t find any place where I live that does a decent job.
Regarding names- Where I used to live I went to “That Lady Barber;” that’s who she was and the name of her place.
Best name I’ve seen was “It’ll Grow Back;” didn’t instill a lot of confidence, but they got high marks for honesty and creativity.
My first year in college I had a friend, who was a town (local), mention he was going to get a haircut. I needed one too, so I tagged along with him. Unbeknownst to me, it was a salon-type place. While some nice middle-aged lady that known him practically his whole life cut his hair, “Skip” cut and styled me. Ahem. It only(!) set me back $35. Do you know how much more other “essential” (college, remember) stuff I could have got for $35 in the late ’80s? But I must admit: it was one of, if not THE, best haircut I ever got.
For clarification-“…a friend, who was a townie (local),”
After several years of going to BoRics or Fantastic Sam’s, I’ve started going to the regular barber shop my dad uses. Since I have to drive him there anyway, it saves time, plus the guy usually gives me the same senior discount he gives dad. So it’s around $12 for the cut, and we usually leave a combined tip of around seven or eight bucks…
Most unusual place was a combination barber and pawn shop dad and I went to a couple of times. It was kind of cool getting your hair cut while surrounded by old guitars, watches, jewelry, and 40 year old stereo equipment. But dad didn’t like the place for some reason, so we switched to the place we go to now.
Worst haircut experience (not the actual haircut, but the aftermath) was when I was around 10 or so. I had been going to a department store salon for a few months, and mom would drop me off while she went shopping. One day I went in and found that the guy who usually cut my hair was on vacation. The woman filling in for him offered to update my look (for the same price as my usual cut), and she gave me an outstanding style, using all kinds of combs, brushes, clippers, and special scissors. She even showed me how to put gel in my hair and style it up, etc. I couldn’t believe it when I looked in the mirror. It was like I’d gone from a little kid to an adult…well, at least a teenager. I loved it. But when mom came to pick me up, she was furious. Oh, I was far too young to have a haircut like that, what did that woman do to me, I don’t care if you like the way it looks no son of mine is going to walk around looking like that, etc. Mom dragged me to a regular barber shop and made me get a buzz cut the same day.
I am rather passionate about my hair and this topic, and will return when I have time to write about it.
In the mean time, I just want to mention that I know I’ll never be as good a writer as you. Today, for example, I know that, in ten thousand years, I would never put together the words “husky-voiced divorcees” to describe the ladies who work in the local shops. Jesus, Jeff, that’s not just an evocative description — it’s a 22-minute high-concept sitcom with at least two fully-formed characters.
Just to state the obvious, evocative prose is universal prose, and this kind of phrasing marks the border between skill and talent. I think it set the tone for the whole piece. Very enjoyable post.
John
I frequent an expensive spa with a full service salon inside. Same girl for 7 yrs. It’s $105 for color and blow dry, $120 with a cut added in. I tip $10-$20 depending on what she does. I go every 6-7 weeks for color, and every other appt she cuts.
Worst hait cut, I decided to cut it short for a few years, and it looked cute. When I decided to grow it out, I asked my hair dresser at the time to change the style making it less awkward in the grow out phase. After a few weeks of growth, I realized that I had ended up with a mullet. It was awful, and I ended up at a mall salon to get it fixed.
My current hair dresser also happens to be a friend, so chit-chat is a given. I like it, I’m a chatty person. But don’t talk to me while I’m under the dryer or being shampooed. That’s my relax/nap time. Good thing about a salon in a spa is that shampoo also includes a scalp and neck massage.
There’s a gas station in my town that has a barber shop in it.
My most recent haircut was in the early 90s. I think it was at Hair Cuttery or something like, and cost around $10. I must still have the $5000 or so that I haven’t spent on haircuts.
The barber shop that sticks in my mind the most was an old-school place in the town where I went to college. The word barber did not appear anywhere on store front; there was just the striped pole, and a sign over the door reading “Clem Zotto, Prop.” The barber was an old Italian man named (of course) Clem Zotto. I think he had learned barbering during WWII and left it at that. All the ROTC boys went to him.
.
My husband goes to a barber shop called “The Grateful Head”.
No lie.
I’ve been getting my hair cut by the same barber in an old fashion barber shop for a little more than 30 years. Sam is an old Sicilian who still gives neck shaves using warm shaving cream and a straight razor.
Sam cut my fathers hair, my brothers, and the hair of many of my friends. Now he cuts my sons hair too. When he was younger he always wore a 3 piece suit to work. He’d take off the jacket and cut hair in his vest and shirtsleeves. I’m so used to it that barbers in smocks look weird to me.
Sam is an institution. He knows everybody and has a connection just about anywhere in three counties. He’s even had the state house pass a resolution honoring him.
Hair cuts are $14, I just hand him a $20.
Here’s a news article about him:http://www.nhregister.com/general-news/20121206/barber-sam-amore-makes-weekly-visit-to-webb-building-in-farmington-hills
He has a sign in the shop now saying he doesn’t take new customers. So everyone who goes in there is a long time customer.
As kids we’d ride our bikes to the shop. Now I drive 15 miles one way whenever I need it. Sam is in his 80s now and his hands shake bit but I’m not going anywhere. I have no idea what I’m going to do when he’s not there anymore. Probably run around looking like a hippy.
I go to the same person every time. She does great work, but her “salon” is a little low rent. It’s way, way out in the country,and it’s a little metal utility building that has been nicely finished inside. I pay $75 for what would cost me $150 in town. (I’m in my 40s and fighting a grim battle against middle age, I make no apologies.). It’s a lot like Truvy’s in Steel Magnolias. I hear the most amazing gossip at most appointments, there’s usually a child playing in the middle of the floor, and recipes are regularly exchanged.
My husband goes to a traditional barber shop, and takes our son their, too. It’s horrible. The same guy cuts their hair every time, with differing results each time. Usually my poor child looks like they put a bowl on his head and then sawed around the edges with a rusty machete. My husband refuses to let me take him to my girl (apparently penises immediately turn black and fall off if a man gets his hair cut in a salon) so we have monthly screaming matches over a five year old’s hair. I’ve given up trying to convince the husband that his hair is appalling, I just look at it as insurance against infidelity. Half of the time his haircut makes him look like he’s out on a day pass from some sort of institution.
Ugh, substitute “there” for “their” in the first sentence of paragraph 2.
m . . .
I’ve always had my hair cut by women in “salons”, and my penis hasn’t fallen off once. Men who are insecure about their sexuality or sexual identity just make it look bad for the rest of us.
Good luck. I feel for you.
John
We had another huge fight over my child’s hair this weekend. He starts school next week, and he looks like he cut his own hair. I guess we all pick our battles, and this is his.
I go to an old-school sole proprietership shop..the same one for 20 years (and he started 10 years before I moved here). They take the edger and some other magic thing and smooth my dome once a week.
It’s a six chair shop that usually has no more than four working. Owner is about to retire, had gone part time and sold to a crew of middle age Asian women (Vietnamese? Lao ? Not sure).
I take the first available barber.
This was the second shop I found after moving here. The first was a single chair place that was populated by the most overt rednecks I ever met in my life. I had to wait an hour for my turn, and the owner and his customers dropped the nword about two dozen times. I had to check my watch to make sure it was the late 20th century,
I’m a barbershop man myself even though my cut is pretty straightforward – 2 & 4 guards as well. I found a barber recommended by a friend that was working out a girly salon and the salon had plenty of “talent” if you know what I mean. It was the best of both worlds – good barber, good haircut, great view. But that place has since closed down and he’s moved into a traditional men’s barber shop setting (I followed him there) so now we just boolshit about sports. Funny that he’s from upstate NY and is the nicest guy in the place while the southern dude there is the biggest asshole (I’m in Charlotte). I like having a dedicated barber that will adjust hours, stay late, patient enough to give my 2yr old a haircut, etc. I give $5 tip for me, $8 when it’s both of us.
Okay I just linked to my worst haircut. It was a prank, so I can blame only myself.
Click website to see
I used the same WWII vet for about 15 years. He died a few months ago and I’ve been fucked ever since. All these questions about guard sizes – I have no idea. He didn’t use guards. I’ve been going to garage sales in search of a “flowbee”.
That’s a good point. How does anybody know guard sizes, or even that this “guard” exists?
.
Wife does it, Wahl clippers, free, no wait, not shy with boobs in face during process, all good.
Worst haircut I’ve ever gotten was from a guy who I found out later was up on charges for child molestation. His court date was scheduled for a few days after the haircut in question, and he was convicted, sentenced, and incarcerated all in one fell swoop on that day. I guess the guy had other things on his mind when he was cutting my hair. Again, I didn’t learn of any of this until about a month or two later, after the salon he was running was closed and the space up for lease. People were actually commenting to me on the sad state of affairs with respect to my hairdo. I just let it grow out, I suppose there’s worse things that can happen to a person than a bad haircut.
1st and 2nd together, Ed was my first barber, old school barber that my Dad brought me to. At some point he was relieved of his responsibilities for my hair care and my Mom brought me to her girl Marcy. At first I was not really cool with going to a salon but, whatever. Then at some point I started seeing Shelia, then my sister moved back and she took over for a couple of years. After she moved I went back to Shelia. Not sure what I’ll do after the Busch Lights and Marlboros take away my dear Shelia.
Hair-itage Shoppe is where I go.
$5 bucks for a number 3 on top and number 2 on the sides with $5 tip. Marlboros ain’t cheap.
Nice. Fuckin’. Tag. . .j
My husband goes to Guiseppe’s, complete with a barber pole. He’s raised his prices to $3. Mike forks over a $10. It’s better if you don’t tell Guiseppe what you want. The only time Mike gave him direction, he walked out looking a lot like Robert De Nero the in Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. Just let Guiseppe do his thing and everything is fine. But no one sports a better haircut than our friend, Ian. Guiseppe gives him a million dollar haircut everytime. Must be the shape of his noggin.
Great post, Mr. Kay.
About 10 years ago my wife volunteered to cut my hair, to save a few bucks and some time too. I’m working on the male-pattern-baldness thing, so it’s not that intense of a job, so I figured “wtf?”. I was paying $20 a pop at that time (in N.J.) so it seemed cost effective. I had no idea what made her think she was a hair stylist, since her occupation was medical billing (yeah, she’s to blame!) but I didn’t bother to ask. In one of the few pleasant surprises of my life, she did a great job! I now pay zero for haircuts and get just as good of a cut as I ever did…not that I’ve graduated to Brad Pitt status yet, but still….
My dad used to always take me to an old fashioned barber shop every other Saturday where we would both wait for a honest to goodness barber, Chuck, to cut our hair. Now I go to a salon/boutique adjacent to my office once a month or so. I have the same for every time and call for an appointment and we chat about everything that’s going on. We know a lot of the same people and that’s why I go to her now… After my most disturbing haircut when I went to a chain and had a girl cut her finger DEEP while giving me a trim and bleeding all over my head. She had a pack of band-aids on the counter for this specific reason, but swore that the warm blood I felt on my scalp was no big deal.
When I lived in Dallas I went to Toni & Guy all the time and had a little Asian guy that had to get on a step ladder to cut my hair even though I was sitting down. He did a good job, but it was awkward.
I think my current place charged $25 for a cut and I always just paid her $40, but I heard that she went up to $30 for a cut and I still just pay her $40.
One of my employees went to a chain and saw the same lady and it turned out to be a person who’s car loan we owned. She’s talk to him about the white motherfuckers who owned her car note and how she was going to swap cars with her sister so they couldn’t find it. If they (we) wanted to go after her for the debt they (we) could just “charge it to the game.” We took a Dodge Magnum to auction a couple weeks later.
I’ve self inflicted my own haircuts for the last 25 years.
Before that I used to go to a old time barborshop, where the guy smoked like a steam train, and had ZERO personality. Haircuts where $5
as a youngling the parental units took me down the street to an old Italian guy that spoke zero English, but his wife fed you Italian sausage after your haircut.
Used to pay thirteen, then fourteen, then fifteen, and always dropped a twenty. Last time I was in Len’s Barber Shop, the newbie thought it was NASCAR. FYI: I am bald: put a #2 comb on, trim it all off, check for strays, trim them, and let me go! The newbie managed to nick my head…blood all over…with a #2 comb on the clippers…trying to show how fast he could cut hair. Decided that it was time to try it on my own: I spent twenty on a set of wall clippers, and have been spending the difference on booze ever since…
Used to go to an ‘old school’ barbershop but often there was a wait of an hour, sometimes more. Not interested in waiting a lot so now I go to Mastercuts at the mall. Didn’t used to care who cut it there but learned through trial and error that one girl who I know is there on Thursdays did the least bad job so I always go to her.
Regarding chit-chat, if I could I would just drop my head off and come back to pick it up later.
One of the few things I knew about Filipinos before I actually moved to this country was that they were good at hair, not that mine is complicated at all — it’s less “haircut” than it is “mowing.” I go to the same guy all the time, haircut and a shave — he’ll even knock back the eyebrows, too — costs me 150 pesos (that’s what I give him, I think the actual cost is around 100-120), which is about $3.50 in real money, give or take.