Ever Known Anyone Named Susan? We’re Going to Need to Hear About Her

wednesday pinkStrangely, I’m not coming up with much. It feels like I should’ve crossed paths with many a Susan. Or even the occasional Sue. But, not so much.

We were friends with a couple in Atlanta, and the woman’s name was Sue. But we haven’t seen or heard from her since the ’90s. She was politically correct, and viewed me as a Neanderthal. Of this, I’m fairly certain.

And my wife has a friend named Susan. They live on opposite sides of the continent from each other, and have somehow maintained a relationship of sorts. Every time I see a photo of her, she looks radically different. It’s weird. My favorite phase was when she looked like Robert Smith of The Cure. It’s nothing like that now, though. Too bad.

I can only think of one Susan from school. But I didn’t know her. So, nothing to report there.

It’s weird. I’ve been around for half a century, and am not coming up with much in the way of Susans. In fact, whenever I hear that name, I really only think of this song:

But what about you? Do you have tales to tell about people named Susan, or Sue? If so, please share them in the comments.

And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.

Thanks for playing the Name Game!

Don’t know a Susan? How about a Mike? Or a Mary?


  1. Skippy in WV says

    I had a neighbor growing up that was a few years older than me named Susan. One of if not the weirdest individual I’ve ever met. She would cut the grass while wearing a dive mask, with the snorkel and all, because she said it “helps to keep my allergies from acting up”. She would clean up the dog poop from her yard and all the other houses on the street and compost it to use on her garden. She usually had a habit of cutting her grass at night, not the late evening, night, thats kinda understandable due to heat, but still. My cousin is married to a Sue, one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.

    • johnthebasket says

      Damn, Skippy, I thought that was going to turn into one of those Penthouse Letters set on a hot summer evening.


  2. One Susan springs to mind. It was Jr High and she was the greasy haired daughter of the principal. She thought this entitled her to special treatment. HA! Here’s a sample of the “special” treatment she received:

    Back 100 years ago when we used typewriters, we were in typing class preparing for a timed test. We were very progressive and had electric(!) typewriters. Anyway, one of my friends had her foot strategically placed on the plug of Susan’s machine(receptacles were on the floor) and when the teacher yelled “Start” and started her stopwatch, Susan’s machine somehow lost power!? An electric typewriter unplugged is basically a big rock with an IBM logo.

    An entire row of us could hardly keep typing as Susan frantically pounded on that thing. Good times…….well…..not for Susan. Preteens are mean!!

  3. Jazzbone Swirly says

    I know of a song about a boy named Sue, but I’ve never known a female named Sue or Susan all that well. Wait; there was a skinny ex-ballerina I once knew about 10 or 15 years ago. I think she once told me that she ate mostly popcorn and sodas to keep her weight down when she was a dancer.

  4. Me, and I like me.

  5. madz1962 says

    Got a cousin named Susan but we always called her Susie for some reason. A name I absolutely HATE – Susie.

    My sister’s name is Suzanne.

    Worked with a very funny Sue. She was a pioneer in computing back in the early 80s and taught me a lot of stuff.

    One of the bitchy (and thankfully long retired) executives in my current job was so friggin’ fugly we called her (A boy named) Sue. I had just one word for that witch = “Dentist!”

  6. My mom is named Susan. Don’t have much bad to say about her.

    Back in my younger, more care free days, I waited tables with a girl named Susan that I had a big crush on. We would flirt regularly and it probably would have lead somewhere until I got drunk one night and (successfully, I might add) made a pass at her sister. After that I was definitely just going to be a friend.

    I’m pretty sure I had some teachers growing up named Susan as well, but since they were all Miss Smith, Miss Jones, etc., I can’t remember for sure.

  7. My best friend growing up was named Susie, I work directly with two Susans who are very nice ladies indeed and I waited tables years ago with a Susan who was my first lesbian friend (that I knew of) and she was a blast to party with and a good friend. I remember my Mom having two friends named Sue and my husband’s ex-wife’s mother is named Sue.
    A quick check of my company directory gives me 14 Susans, 4 Sues, 1 Susana, 1 Susette and even…wait for it…an Ambrosia Sue.
    My company is not that big-there must be some Susan or Susan variants you’ve forgotten Jeff. Or maybe I have just lived an exceptionally Sue rich life.

    • madz1962 says

      Ambrosia Sue? Did she have sisters named Waldorf Betty, Caesar Serena and Chef Gertrude?

      • I don’t know her personally but if I am ever introduced, I will attempt to undertake this groundbreaking investigation. Inquiring minds want to know…if your whole family has ridiculous names. A brother maybe? Cobb Bob?

  8. Bill in WV says

    This awesome video will make your day. Or, end it.


  9. I played pool on a league with a woman names Sue that annoyed the ever-lovin’ crap out of us. Late 50s and clueless about everything. She was one of those people who played pool all the time twice a week for years and years and NEVER GOT ANY BETTER AT IT. She was permanently stuck at some low handicap rank and would bounce from team to team until they learned that this was as good as she was ever going to get and refused to listen or take advice from anyone about how to improve her game. Which annoys me. Like why bother? More than anything else though the most annoying thing was that she used an excess amount of powder. Like everywhere. And it would get all over the pool felt and the table and everywhere else. And when her game was over she would go outside and smoke and leave everyone else to clean the table. I hated her.

  10. Perhaps the reason you don’t know any Susan’s is because I know them all… my two best girlfriends are named Susan and although they are complete and total opposites I refer to them collectively, as in ‘I’m going out with the Susan’s tonight’. One is tall and beautiful andoso social awkward that I bring great joy in taking her to forced social gatherings just to watch her make major social faux pas. The other is serious and has a high pressure job at an ivy league university, I don’t take her anywhere but if I have a problem that needs solving or a cover letter written she’s the first one I call.

  11. There was a Susan in elementary school. Be damned if I remember anything about here.
    There was “Suzanne” in highschool, in quotes becuase she insited she be called Suzanne, and not Susan, even though Susan was on her birth certificate. Very nice girl. Lost touch with her later on, but listening to the police scanner one evening I recognize an address and eventually hear her name run, guess she turned into a wild party girl.
    There was a Sue/Susan in college, but she was a return to school overweight individual. Friendly lady.
    Working years, there was Sue the dyke with a chip on her shoulder looking for any excuse to try and get you ratted out or in trouble.

  12. I’m a Susan. In Kindergarten, there were three of us, so one stayed Susan, one was Susie and I got stuck with Sue. No one asked me if I wanted to be called Sue and it pissed me off. I never answered to it. During roll call, the teacher had to look up or wait for someone else to tell her I was there. That went on all year. I’m good at holding a grudge.
    When I got online, I went with suz. Several offline friends and family call me suz now. No one ever calls me Sue.

  13. The few Sue, Susan, Suzannes that I knew were always pretty but dumb as rocks.

  14. My dad has a cousin Susan, who is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Super-smart too. I also have a first-cousin Susan; I don’t know her very well, since I hardly ever see her, since she lives in Kansas.

    There was a gorgeous Suzanne at my high school, but I didn’t know her. I met another Suzanne years later, who was something of an empty-headed poseur.

    So, only a few Sues.

  15. revashane says

    ’69-’79- Susan Japanese kid, shy and smart as shit
    ’75- Suzann, ugly but born into popular group.
    ’80-Nancy Susan, one of six kids, good Catholics
    Current Susans:
    1, Batshit crazy alcoholic
    2, Old lesbian
    3, good friend, great gal.
    4, Suzanne is the priestess at my church. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be called a priestess but she is an ordained minister of the Episcopal Church.

  16. I don’t know a single Susan and it seems like I’m better off for it.

  17. I know one. She thinks vaccinations cause autism and worse, and she is so gung-ho over eating heathfully that it is creepy. Her husband is one of those people who is so negative about everything in life that I can’t stand to be around him.

  18. I guess I should talk about the dead but…..

    I dated a guy that had a mom named Susan. Susan was the type of woman that let life break her. She was weak minded. She expected her son to put her before anyone else in the world.
    She had 3 daughters and all three went to prison at one point or another. I dont mean jail….One was arrested for cooking meth. One for accessory to murder. One for grand theft auto.
    At one point in time, she was the only mom to have two daughters in the same federal prison. She held that title proudly ant told me the first and only tim I met her.

    Needless to say after meeting her, our very short relationship ended.

  19. My mother name my sister “Rita Susan.” Daddy threw such a fit that Mama had to legally change her name two weeks later not to include “Susan.” Daddy said every “Susan” he ever knew of was a whore. (How did he know?) So, her name was Rita Marie. THEN, my brother married a girl named Susan. that brother named two of his three boys names that my father hated.

  20. My name is Susan, I get called Susan by people who know me, Sue by people who don’t know me, Suzie by family, but I prefer Susan. I got my name because my grandfather used to call every little girl he ever met Suzie and I was his first grandchild so my mom named me Susan so he would get my name right. Ha. Never understood why he didn’t name one of his daughters Susan since he had 4 of them… My fiance’s mother is a Suzanna, who goes by Sue. My fiance’s name is John, so is his Dad’s. So we are John and Sue and John and Sue. It’s weird! There are quite a few women at work with the name Susan of a variation of and it’s awkward when I have to talk to one of them on the phone. “Hi Susan, this is uh Susan…”