Some Of The Stuff That Happened When I Was In School Would Probably End Up On CNN Today

The Great Four-Square Debate of ’78 When I was in ninth grade I punched some kid named Jon so hard in the face, I think his head went all the way around. And sure, it was partially because he spelled his name “Jon,” but that wasn’t the main reason. He’d been a relentless prick to […]

In Celebration Of Waking Up In Utter Confusion!

At this point we’re getting snow every other day or so, and I’ve officially had enough. Tomorrow night we’re supposed to be clobbered, yet again: a big John Holmes-sized accumulation. It’s bullshit, I tell ya. Yeah, I know… I complain about hot and humid weather, too. But who says I can’t spread the hate around? […]