25 Alt Rock Band Names I Came Up With While Having Coffee This Morning

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAdmittedly, some of these might work better as album titles, but what do you want from me? I’m a very busy man. After I finish with this idiocy, please feel free to add your own non-existent band names in the comments. And thanks for reading!

Cannonball of Feces
A Vic Tayback Misunderstanding
The Lint Donkeys
Musical Fruit
Sport Baxter
A Smattering of Assholes
Stench Event
Jelly Glass
1000 Photos of a Scrotum
Barrel of Despair
Robots in the Trees
Hammer Pants
Courtesy Flush
Roundhouse Kick to the Gullet
Camping with Cromartie
Jiggleneck Fiesta
Lotta Jaw
Coinstar Drunks
The Crippled Cowards
Butter Blindness
H. E. Pennypacker
So Much Urine
Fudge Bunnies

Support us by doing your holiday shopping at Amazon! If you’re in Canada, here’s your link. Thank you guys!


  1. The Lou Grant Experience

  2. Chrome Buzzards
    Ice Bucket Challenge
    Jalapeno Jorseshoes

  3. The Swirling Turds!

  4. I Hate Spunk
    Oh Bob
    It Is Taboo
    Sorry About That Chief
    Thirsty Pretzels

  5. Brenda Love says

    I never did come up with a good band name, but I always knew my first album would be called “Igneous Rock”

  6. Kelly from Iowa says

    Stench Event is performing in my living room as we speak.

  7. Kelly from Iowa says

    Stench Event is performing in my living room as we speak.

  8. Sock Monkey
    Lackadaisical Hand Job
    Bogus Andretti

  9. johnthebasket says

    The Long Goodbye

  10. johnthebasket says

    1) Here’s a fun game. Try to figure out which of Jeff’s band names triggered the dynamic ad at the bottom of his post to advertise stump removal.

    2) Seems to me that a lot of the above band names are great alt names, but that some of them would be better suited for punk, hardcore, or, in one case, cuddlecore.

    3) I’m just saying.


  11. Ha! For a second there, I thought the Coinstar Drunks was an actual band and was included in error on your list– I had heard of the band before but had forgotten that you were the source! In my imagination, the Coinstar Drunks sound a bit like the Butthole Surfers . . .

    Anyway, I think their debut smash should be titled, “Lipstick on My Teeth.”

  12. Lester Bangs says

    Always wanted to start an alt band called Stepmother Teresa.

  13. My class had a fantasy band we called “Hemi and the Rhoids”. In the vain of the Ramones we had Rhoid names. Mine was Rip Rhoid but for the life of me I cant remember any of the others and there were a dozen. Getting old stinks when you cant remember the funny stuff.

    • johnthebasket says

      I followed her to the station
      with a suitcase in my hand
      And I followed her to the station
      with a suitcase in my hand
      Well, it’s hard to tell, it’s hard to tell
      when all your love’s in vein

      • Sweet curmudgeon ( she lovingly scratches his chin ) thank you for having my back and not making a mockery of me.

  14. Gorilla Monsoon
    Joey and the Fatones

  15. I’m pretty sure I saw Mexican Diarrhea open for Courtesy Flush way back when.

  16. Transvaginal Mesh

  17. Rudimentary Peni

    …wait, that was a real band.

  18. A name born of old-time Surf Reporters:

    A Vagina Full of Bad Decisions

  19. Skippy in WV says

    The Turdles. With a “d”.

  20. Jazzbone Swirly says

    Franky Goes to Anaheim

  21. Broken Dishes and Bare Feet

  22. Skip McAllister says

    Bucket Full of Snot
    Whore & the Moans
    Stinky Pete & the Vagrants
    Snatch Factory

  23. Uncle_Wedgie says

    Phlegm Pets
    Ball Gravy
    Skeeter’s Willy

  24. The Chocolate Sidewinders
    The Tryptophan Society
    Rona and the Welts

  25. Right, the band names.

    The Shoes
    Overtime Bandits
    Blood, Sweat and Cappucino
    Municipal Bike
    The Subway Fugitives
    The Vapes
    Insidious W.T.F. (more of a rapper)

  26. Steel Toast
    Erectile set

  27. johnthebasket says

    It’s Christmas Eve, and for a decade and more, this blog has contained at least a little holiday cheer. So I’ll post a link I’ve provided occasionally at this time of year, and hope other festive content follows.

    This is just a short sonnet about a businessman who, through the vagaries of the business world, is forced to put a friend out of business just before Christmas. I wish you all a joyous holiday season.



  28. Jazzbone Swirly says
    • That one is outstanding. I’ve heard it several times, and now I get to hear it again. Thanks, Jazzbone!

  29. Merry Christmas my band of questionably merry surf reporters! =-)